I feel that i’m being controlled alot . It sucks . I hate going home . Like seriously , i go home just for another round of scoldings . Otherwise a mundane stare from dad who always looks at me with the ‘ ah you fuckin problematic kid ‘ face . Curfews , barricades and all , its fuckin’ unfair . I wanna do what i want and i wanna live my life while i can . I don’t even dare to tell em that im going out fearing they wont allow which 80% would be a definite straight NO . or it’ll come with an unbelievable curfew. Traditional parents’ rules are hard to abide . Especially living my 18 years around people from various cultures and being exposed to the ‘real world’ . Its not my fault im like that . I have been brought up like that . School and everything , its what i’ve been through . I can’t hide for so long . No to this , No to that , the more i will do it. I touched cigs at the age of 8 . i first drank a sip of carlsberg at 12 . i first got drunk at 16 , why ? Because i am being confined in my ‘ cell ‘ which says NO ALCOHOL and shit which made me try it and i loved it . I am craving for piercings , why ? cos again , you say NO PIERCINGS . Its very hard for me to live in their world . I seriously am hating my life at home right now . Its so much that i am always scared to go home . Scared to leave home . Even scared to walk outta my room to face my own father. For fear of him questioning me and all . I can’t take this . No, i wont run away from home though i’ve thought about it till i’m fuckin’ sick of thinkin’ bout it . I’ll just wait for that fateful day .. I don’t know if i’m asking too much but well , its my happiness and these make me happy .
Teens Views :How much parental control is too much?
The “C” word. How loathsome it is. How much control, control, control.
One fact is beyond debate. If you suppress something, it will eventually emerge somewhere else, perhaps in a form more dangerous than the original. It is therefore of paramount importance that adult authority is not used to merely suppress disruptive or rebellious behavior in adolescence. Children at this time, however much their behavior might be problematic for the “grown ups” still need oodles and oodles of understanding and unconditional acceptance, which is not the same as condoning unacceptable behavior. We also need to have some humility here and recognize that maybe we need to be disrupted and challenged before we listen and that perhaps, just perhaps, our young people have something to say to us, even if it is only, by way of negative attention seeking, “I am not happy”.
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I am not sure control is what teenagers need. After all they have been controlled since day one.
” Did I choose to be born on this day? No. You wanted to fit it in around your work schedule so elected for a Ceasarian” “Do I want to eat this processed baby food? No,I am quite happy with stewed apple and would actually still like a little breast comfort even though I am a year old.”
“Am I ready to be separated from you and go to play school so that you can return to work?”
By the time they reach adolescence, our children have been controlled up to the max in so many ways it is no wonder that there is an explosion! Angry and now with physical strength and a new voice they begin to erupt and all we can do is talk about how to control this volcanic and increasingly dangerous energy.
As the adults in the scenario we have to act like vulcanologists. We have choices.
First we can attempt to control and apply an authoritarian plug of punishment in an attempt to stop such an eruption. This is referred to as a clampdown. Second choice is evacuation, which is an option many parents today, having been systematically dis empowered by the education system for the past two decades, seem to go for. Though understandable, it does not help the youngsters who are probably as overwhelmed by this energy as we are.
Third is channeling, which is a way of directing and diverting this energy in a harmless and
even [with care and imagination] useful and creative way.
It is in this area our Western culture seems to fall way short of the mark. Where are our rituals and social procedures which challenge our young people to make the steps towards responsible adulthood? More tribal communities have very definite strategies in place, landmark events, trials of strength and prowess which channel that aggression.
“At sixteen you will kill a lion and then be a man”. Yes, and you will have dignity and self respect and pride in your strength. ” At fourteen you will have your first alcoholic drink in the company of the elders” and you will learn from them how to drink responsibly, with guidance. ” We will dance under the moon and celebrate the commencement of your menstrual cycle” We will make you proud to be a woman, not see your new found fertility as a “pain” and give you pills for “cramps”. We will help on your journey and celebrate your existence.
Teens views: How to deal with parental pressure
Parents are good at putting the pressure on their kids. There’s just something about them, whether it be their authority, intimidation, or reverse-psychology, that allows them to scare us kids into doing whatever they want, particularly when it comes to schoolwork. Unfortunately, pressure can build on us, and we buckle under the weight of it all. This could manifest itself in the form of insomnia, depression, intense mood swings, or other conditions, which could then lead to a loss of interest in other activities, a non-existent social life, or, believe it or not, a drop in grades. So how can we deal with this pressure?
One of the ways to avoid pressure is to just do exactly what your parents want you to do. Come home, do your homework each night, study, and then do whatever else that you want, such as talking to friends. If there’s no reason for them to continuously put pressure on you, i.e. if you’re cooperative, then you’ll save yourself a great deal of trouble. As always, it’s best to stop a problem before it becomes a problem, and seriously, being a diligent student will pay off in the future. If you don’t give your parents any reason to apply pressure, then it simply won’t happen.
Sometimes, though, you just can’t use physical force to get rid of your feelings. The mounting pressure is just too great, and you feel like you’re going to completely break down; and that’s exactly what you’re allowed to do. There’s nothing wrong with crying your eyes out (as long as the other guys on the football team don’t find out, at least) if life’s just getting too hard for you. If it works, it works, and sometimes you just need a good cry to let your emotions flow through you and burst the bubble of pressure created by your parents.
Taking a day off to relax is a good way to deal with parental pressure…just don’t tell your parents about it. Go to a friend’s house, take a walk, or just sit in your room all day and read (Oh, this should probably be on a weekend, since you don’t want to get grounded, or worse, for skipping school). Do whatever it is that helps you relax and ease the pressure from your shoulders, and then get back to work the next day. Trust me, taking a break can do wonders for your mental health.
If all else fails, call up a friend and tell him or her that you need help. If your friend is a good one, then he or she will stay on the line and talk you through your problems, which will first consist of you venting your frustration to him or her, usually in the form of shouting and other escalating tones. Just venting your rage in the form of words helps you not only articulate your problems, but put them in perspective and realize that they really aren’t that bad, easing your pain. The pressure will die once you realize that there is much less to freak out about all because a friend listened to your rant.
If you have to deal with already-existing pressure, though, then you need to find a way to vent your feelings. One of these ways is punching your pillow. Think of this: if you have too many angry and unhappy feelings inside you, then they could interfere with your schoolwork, not to mention the rest of your life in general, because you’ll spend all of your time trying to fight them. Instead, Go to your room, get on your bed, and beat the stuffing out of a pillow until you’re too tired to move. You’ll find that you feel much more relaxed, and probably happier, once you’ve vented a bit, and no one will get hurt by your actions.
Another way to vent pressure is through an already-existing medium. For example, I play tennis almost regularly during the spring, and whenever I’m having a tough time in my home or social life, I can channel that rage into my tennis game, and it usually pays off. In tennis, you want to hit the ball pretty hard while applying enough topspin to the ball, and when I’m mad I feel as if I can hit a complete and powerful shot, which is the most effective. Additionally, anger and pressure can increase your aggressiveness, so take a chance and go out for a run; imagine that you’re running against a tough opponent, grit your teeth, and run as hard as you can against
fucked up crap .
I was meaning the dirtier way obviously . I mean , out of curiousity lah huh . But of course , i hit some jackpot just now. I found GTA and HALO 3 . Played like fuck . Well , thats about all about my work life. Its just been 3 days since i started work . And the remaining 5 weeks and 4 days feels like hell somehow . Gah.
